long story short for anyone who still reads dreamwidth:
i'm still alive! i have since moved out of the toxic house i was living in, cut off ties with a lot of people in real life that i was misguided enough to believe were still my friends, graduated and got my bachelor's degree in liberal studies, and (unfortunately for the time being) moved back in with my dad to save up money and move out.
so how are you?
i'm still alive! i have since moved out of the toxic house i was living in, cut off ties with a lot of people in real life that i was misguided enough to believe were still my friends, graduated and got my bachelor's degree in liberal studies, and (unfortunately for the time being) moved back in with my dad to save up money and move out.
so how are you?
(no subject)
Jul. 16th, 2012 05:19 pm...jeez i am really not great at updating this anymore.
i'm living in a pretty nice, if oddly set up, house! i'm in it til the end of next june. there are going to be shenanigans, i can assure you of that.
with all the stress of that gone, all i need to focus on until school starts is finding a good job. i'd had one for a couple of months at a local pizza place but the boss was a complete dickbag and terrible at running a business to the point i had to quit to save myself from going down the mental drain a third time. i'm on the search for a new job, at least, and trying to reinforce some positives so my joblessness doesn't bring my anxiety back up.
i'm living in a pretty nice, if oddly set up, house! i'm in it til the end of next june. there are going to be shenanigans, i can assure you of that.
with all the stress of that gone, all i need to focus on until school starts is finding a good job. i'd had one for a couple of months at a local pizza place but the boss was a complete dickbag and terrible at running a business to the point i had to quit to save myself from going down the mental drain a third time. i'm on the search for a new job, at least, and trying to reinforce some positives so my joblessness doesn't bring my anxiety back up.
(no subject)
Feb. 23rd, 2012 12:55 pmthere's been lots of stuff happening again. the good: i've been kinda-sorta seeing a girl... i think? it's a little confusing but i'm really having fun with her.
the stressful, however, is that i was reminded of the awful stress and anxiety i went through last semester in the dorms when i found out a good friend of mine was being stalked, cyberbullied, and physically threatened by her own roommate in her on-campus apartment. reslife was once again being resistant to actually do anything to stop the abuse, and i'd had enough of hearing about it and wrote the dean of student life and the head director a page-and-a-half-long email detailing exactly who in their staff had disrespected me and their responsibilities and how it had affected me mentally and emotionally. i got a followup email within two hours of the initial email stating that the matter was being looked into, which i initially brushed off as a way to placate me. but i just received an email asking me to come to the head director's office if i'd like to discuss what happened further, and i just... i don't know if i can do that. i've already said my piece. i don't want to hear excuses or apologies. i want to see actual evidence of the staff either shaping up or shipping out. i don't really know how to respond yet, but i feel like i'm about to be in between a rock and a hard place.
the stressful, however, is that i was reminded of the awful stress and anxiety i went through last semester in the dorms when i found out a good friend of mine was being stalked, cyberbullied, and physically threatened by her own roommate in her on-campus apartment. reslife was once again being resistant to actually do anything to stop the abuse, and i'd had enough of hearing about it and wrote the dean of student life and the head director a page-and-a-half-long email detailing exactly who in their staff had disrespected me and their responsibilities and how it had affected me mentally and emotionally. i got a followup email within two hours of the initial email stating that the matter was being looked into, which i initially brushed off as a way to placate me. but i just received an email asking me to come to the head director's office if i'd like to discuss what happened further, and i just... i don't know if i can do that. i've already said my piece. i don't want to hear excuses or apologies. i want to see actual evidence of the staff either shaping up or shipping out. i don't really know how to respond yet, but i feel like i'm about to be in between a rock and a hard place.
(no subject)
Jan. 1st, 2012 05:38 pmhappy new year peeps. i know i'm glad as hell 2011 is officially in the past. lots of things have happened ... i got out of the dorms and am waiting to move into an apartment with two of my best friends, and in the meantime am staying with my sister and her fiance in their new apartment. i'm going back to school early to have an intensive week of dance rehearsals and i'm incredibly excited about it. i'm going to do my damnedest to make 2012 a better year for me and not just sit down and take people's shit anymore.
(no subject)
Jun. 3rd, 2011 04:19 pmWhile waiting for my drug test today, I ended up having a long chat with an older man waiting to do his own drug test. He had his son with him--the kid was probably only 3 or so, but that's not even the notable part, I suppose. We started talking about tattoos because he saw mine on my arm and we got into our stories of sitting on the chair. I actually ended up giving him a card for the local parlor at the end of that chat. It was pretty nice, actually, just striking up conversation with someone over mutual interests. He even had a Star Wars book that I read when I was really young--one of the Han Solo trilogy books.
My thoughts on this are really disjointed but I can't adequately convey how nice it was to have a long talk with a man I don't know and not feel ... threatened, I guess! Most guys don't strike up conversation with me *just* to have a talk. And it was an enjoyable talk, too. It definitely helped pass the agonizing half hour of needing to pee really badly.
My thoughts on this are really disjointed but I can't adequately convey how nice it was to have a long talk with a man I don't know and not feel ... threatened, I guess! Most guys don't strike up conversation with me *just* to have a talk. And it was an enjoyable talk, too. It definitely helped pass the agonizing half hour of needing to pee really badly.
(no subject)
Mar. 11th, 2011 02:57 pmWell.
We watched the DVD of the Colin and Brad Show that got taped last January.
I am forever going to be immortalized as the small girl that looked really scared of the microphone and its stand during the Torture Game. Also they edited the bit out where Brad called me Hilary Swank. I'm not sure if I'm sad about that or not.
We watched the DVD of the Colin and Brad Show that got taped last January.
I am forever going to be immortalized as the small girl that looked really scared of the microphone and its stand during the Torture Game. Also they edited the bit out where Brad called me Hilary Swank. I'm not sure if I'm sad about that or not.
(no subject)
Dec. 18th, 2010 01:27 pmDONE WITH THE SEMESTER. Moving back home for the month on Monday. Not really much else to say, so here's a meme.
★ THE PRONUNCIATION MEME
☆ Make a voice post with the following things so that your F-list can hear how you pronounce them (and laugh at you, of course):
▊ Your name and/or username
▊ Where you're from
▊ The words "roof", "aunt", "direction", and "naturally"
▊ Your favorite song
▊ Your favorite character
▊ A word in a different language
★ THE PRONUNCIATION MEME
☆ Make a voice post with the following things so that your F-list can hear how you pronounce them (and laugh at you, of course):
▊ Your name and/or username
▊ Where you're from
▊ The words "roof", "aunt", "direction", and "naturally"
▊ Your favorite song
▊ Your favorite character
▊ A word in a different language
(no subject)
Dec. 14th, 2010 02:57 pmI'm technically 2 days away from being done with this semester, but I'm not moving out 'til next Monday. Blargh. I'm not looking forward to being home and jobless once again.
The rest of my life has been pretty much dance dance dance dance oh I suppose I should think about putting an effort into the classes that affect my major, shouldn't I? I wish we could major in dance here so much. Doing as much as I can is about all I can do, I guess!
But yes, the dance front is easily the greatest part of my life right now. The tap piece I've been rehearsing with all semester made it through adjudication and into the department concert in the spring, which is pretty sweet! I also just performed my final solo for solo composition class yesterday, and... was told right out that it earned me an A+, and my instructor and the president of Dance Co. want me to put it in the student choreography showcase concert at the end of the year. Um. Wow. (Rough video for anyone who may be interested, because I am kind of an attention whore about it and I'm still in love with the fact that I got to use Homestuck.)
The rest of my life has been pretty much dance dance dance dance oh I suppose I should think about putting an effort into the classes that affect my major, shouldn't I? I wish we could major in dance here so much. Doing as much as I can is about all I can do, I guess!
But yes, the dance front is easily the greatest part of my life right now. The tap piece I've been rehearsing with all semester made it through adjudication and into the department concert in the spring, which is pretty sweet! I also just performed my final solo for solo composition class yesterday, and... was told right out that it earned me an A+, and my instructor and the president of Dance Co. want me to put it in the student choreography showcase concert at the end of the year. Um. Wow. (Rough video for anyone who may be interested, because I am kind of an attention whore about it and I'm still in love with the fact that I got to use Homestuck.)
(no subject)
Nov. 23rd, 2010 02:32 pmI backed my group piece out of adjudication about a week and a half ago. It was a huge weight off of my chest, but I still feel like shit about it. It's not entirely my fault that I landed with a group of dancers to work with that, as a whole, did not respect me, but it is my fault that I didn't at least make them try. I'm kind of angry about the idea basically going to waste, too; I haven't been able to bring myself to listen to the song since I emailed my facilitator, either. I've also noticed myself failing to give a shit about everything else in my life in general thanks to the stress that piece was putting on me and it still hasn't gone away.
tl;dr bluh bluh emotionally stunted bitch. And yeah, obsessively rereading bits of Homestuck is pretty much the only thing keeping me on the line of sanity.
tl;dr bluh bluh emotionally stunted bitch. And yeah, obsessively rereading bits of Homestuck is pretty much the only thing keeping me on the line of sanity.
(no subject)
Nov. 9th, 2010 03:10 pmBluh bluh, trudging through life. I don't want this semester to be over so soon because I'm enjoying classes, no; in fact, I want an extra month so I can have more time for drilling choreography into my dancers' heads and so that they'll maybe give me the damn time of day instead of neglecting to tell me they have tech rehearsal for other shows the nights of our last two rehearsals. Then again, an extra month of classes would lead to me not doing any more homework ever again and bombing the rest of my non-dance classes. Six of one, half a dozen of the other, at this point.
I Ship You With ____ Meme
(no subject)
Oct. 5th, 2010 11:35 amHELLO FRIENDS, I DO INDEED LIVE.
Summary of the past month in a nutshell: aaaaaaaaah rehearsals aaaaaaaaah why the hell did I think I could handle choreographing aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah with a dash of "too much alcohol + sudden onset of a cold = no food, daylight, or movement for 36 hours" added in last week. And I guess not-drama going on with people living on my dorm floor, but I don't give much of a crap about it past trying to keep the douchecanoe out of my life.
I think junior year of college is going to be similar to junior year of high school. I'm a little sad about this.
Summary of the past month in a nutshell: aaaaaaaaah rehearsals aaaaaaaaah why the hell did I think I could handle choreographing aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah with a dash of "too much alcohol + sudden onset of a cold = no food, daylight, or movement for 36 hours" added in last week. And I guess not-drama going on with people living on my dorm floor, but I don't give much of a crap about it past trying to keep the douchecanoe out of my life.
I think junior year of college is going to be similar to junior year of high school. I'm a little sad about this.
My Summer as a Concertgoer, pt II
Jul. 19th, 2010 09:00 amSitting in a kind of baller little hotel room in Chicago right now. I had a queen bed all to myself, and that is easily one of the best nights I have ever slept. But that could also be due to seeing what I can easily say is one of my top three favorite bands, Dream Theater, perform live last night, followed up by Iron Maiden. Both of these bands know how to put on a damn good show. Iron Maiden are all in their 50s and I think the youngest in Dream Theater are around 46 years old, but they played with the energy of 18 year olds (and in some cases, sprinted around the stage like one--goddamn Bruce Dickinson is sprightly).
Breaking tense here, but I was just looking at the twitpic that Mike Portnoy had up of the venue, and this exchange just went down:
"Yeahhhhh eighteen thousand people!"
"--there were that many people there?"
"Yeah."
"Holy shit."
I have never come so close to crying while singing and dancing along to a band as I did with Dream Theater, and though I'm admittedly not as much of an Iron Maiden fan as the guys I went to the concert with, it was exhilarating just seeing and hearing the reactions of them and the other fans around me--and I'll admit, Bruce has a way with words in between songs. That was an amazing experience that I don't think I'll ever regret.
Breaking tense here, but I was just looking at the twitpic that Mike Portnoy had up of the venue, and this exchange just went down:
"Yeahhhhh eighteen thousand people!"
"--there were that many people there?"
"Yeah."
"Holy shit."
I have never come so close to crying while singing and dancing along to a band as I did with Dream Theater, and though I'm admittedly not as much of an Iron Maiden fan as the guys I went to the concert with, it was exhilarating just seeing and hearing the reactions of them and the other fans around me--and I'll admit, Bruce has a way with words in between songs. That was an amazing experience that I don't think I'll ever regret.
(no subject)
Jul. 6th, 2010 11:33 pmI'm supposed to be getting up in less than seven hours to go back to work, which I just got out of an hour and a half ago. I am desperately hoping that I get picked out to go inside and help work freight. If by some horrible chance I'm back in the garden center the entire day again, I'll... I dunno, bring a plastic baggie with airholes in it and take home every single baby toad I find. The baby toads are seriously the best part of being back there now, except I worry every time I see one because they're SO TINY that if you're not looking (and they're not awake) you can step on them easily. I saw one stress itself to death this afternoon because its arm just barely managed to get clipped by a palletjacker and it couldn't hop properly anymore.
...yeah the garden center is super fucking dull and I really, really hope they start kicking me out into other departments pretty soon.
...yeah the garden center is super fucking dull and I really, really hope they start kicking me out into other departments pretty soon.
(no subject)
May. 19th, 2010 12:12 pmI finished up the semester last week and have been home since Friday night. There's honestly nothing for me to talk about with my life because nothing happens here. I've spent every day and night since I got back up here in my room on my laptop watching dumb videos and occasionally RPing. And it's not that I haven't tried to do stuff here, it's just that all my friends here are apparently too busy with their own shit to give me a moment to even text or call me back. Which I guess means props to them for having shit to do around here, because it's pretty clear that I don't. At least I have orientation this Friday.

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